I've been busy

You know how one day you're the mayor, and four days later some punk usurps your post? Who am I kidding? You have no idea what it's like to hold a position of authority.

Let me paint a picture.

I became Mayor of a local high-class establishment through the popular Foursquare. I have resisted these ridiculous social sucks on my time until I found out Mayorship was at stake. How can Foursquare hand out important titles to the unwashed masses with such abandon? It's irresponsible.

Nevertheless I engaged in your reindeer games and naturally assumed my Mayorship in no time. My chest puffed with pride. Drinks were raised in my honor. Immediately my giant brain began to consider the possibilities of world domination via Mayorships. It's a little small scale for my taste, tres medieval these Mayorships but I was down with the concept of being in charge and other people knowing full well that I am the boss.

Speaking of which, I decided that Boss should be the next level up from Mayor. I will write Foursquare later with this brilliant idea.

Back to my Mayorship. I didn't take my superior position lightly. After celebrating with my minions, I raced home to devise a plan. World domination requires premeditation. It's true I was sequestered for some days working feverishly on the rights and obligations of the unwashed masses in my kingdom (to be honest, the rights were none but obligations many--as it should be).

Four days later, I emerged from my top secret headquarters with my Mayoral Manifesto. It is too brilliant to lay on your tiny brains and a summation won't do my genius justice.

And so, I checked in on my kingdom, elated at the prospect of creating order out of what clearly was human chaos. Rules, people, rules are made by me for you to follow. But lo and behold some villain has usurped my Mayorship! Andrew K. from Brooklyn! Scoundrel! Bastard! Son of a whore! (I realize those last two are similar.) You fool, do you have any idea what my tyrannical mind is capable of? Find your friends, indeed. Oh, I'll find you, Andrew K. from Brooklyn.

Needless to say, I was pissed. I've drafted several letters to Foursquare demanding a recount. Andrew K. from Brooklyn? Give me a break. Listen you little Ross Perot upstart, I will crush you with the ferocity of my tiny fists. Unleash the hellhounds!

Nice work, Foursquare. I've been peaceful for months and now this. The Rage.

Merry Christmas.