Open Toe

With the weather being nice and all, all manner of toes have been unleashed to the public. Let's just put it out there: toes are weird looking. Clearly not all toes were created equal and some should be left undercover . . . to protect the children.

Don't we owe that much to humanity?

I saw a big toe on the subway tonight that scared the living daylights out of me. For the five stops I was held hostage by this unsightly toe, I schemed how to take a picture on my cell phone. I thought maybe if I appealed to the body's taste in sandal wear, she might let me photograph her foot. She didn't look all that friendly though. So I just stared and stared and stared.

How to describe it. . . to be blunt, her big toe on the left foot bore an uncanny resemblance to the male organ. I do not use this metaphor lightly. The toe in question was long and slender with this bulbous knob. I shook my head in disbelief but the image wouldn't go away, neither would the offending toe.

I wish I'd have taken a picture. But maybe you'd have nightmares like I surely will.

The Open Toe brings both pleasure and horror. You've been warned.