KISS THEM, BLESS THEM, TOAST THEM, HIGH FIVE THEM, HUG THEM WITH CAUTION -- THE SHORT LIST OF OFFICIALLY SANCTIONED STUFF ABOUT THE IRISH/IRELAND
1. Guinness: To quote my own genius: "the delicious Irish beer with the foamy cap that makes everyone smile and generally feel like a better person." Also a great source of iron and low in calories. BOOM.
2. James Joyce: Dubliners, Portrait of the Artist, Ulysses. Read something seminal.
3. Potatoes: Taste explosion in every form. Is there a single human who doesn't like the potato? That person should be stoned. . . with potatoes.
4. The International World Oyster Opening Championship: Held each year in Galway, professional oyster openers come from all over the world to shuck fast and clean. The best contest in the world. Should be an olympic sport.
5. Freckles: I have them therefore they rule. You're welcome, Ireland.
6. Unabashed winking: I'm making a generalization here based on my vacation to Ireland many years ago in which men, women, and babies all winked at me with wild abandon. I enjoyed it very much.
7. Badass brogue: You may catch every other word if you're lucky. More likely, you'll pick up every third or fourth word but who cares because they sound fucking fantastic.
8. Not including U2 on this list makes the Irish that much cooler.
9. Shitty weather doesn't get them down. For real. The weather can really suck there and yet everyone is happy. Or tipsy. Or a leprechaun. It doesn't matter.
10. My Left Foot. A two-hour film about a foot. True story.
Bonus #11. "Nothing Compares 2 U," Sinead O'Connor. Someone once made me a mix tape of this song -- and only this song -- on both sides of a casette tape, playing over and over and over again.
Slainte.
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