A Meditation on Clutter

Oh zip it, already. You don't even know what I'm going to say. Yes, true enough, I've expounded on the subject of clutter before. This time it will be different. Have I ever steered you wrong?

Good job. You've made it to paragraph two.

So my meditation on clutter goes something like this. Let's say I was homeless. Or rather, forced into homelessness. I was thinking about this for all of five minutes while procrastinating, so you can already tell I've put a lot of mental magic into this subject. Okay then. Assuming that I'm homeless or forced into homelessness, what in fact would I choose to carry on my person on a daily basis? (See how I totally mixed things up there and got you thinking about what I was thinking. I am a pro.)

In the spirit of making lists, here is my list of:

STUFF I'D CARRY ON MY PERSON DAY-IN, DAY-OUT IF I WAS HOMELESS OR FORCED INTO HOMELESSNESS

--Sunscreen: never underestimate the power of some SolBar PF 50. This is also a lightweight item so I'm totally scoring points right now.

--Listerine: okay, not so good on the lightweight, but it's an antiseptic and I heartily embrace anything that admits to its anti-this, anti-that status.

--Pencils and college-ruled, 5-subject notebook, preferably with a green cover: in case I get laryngitis or something, or I just feel like writing down my totally excellent thoughts. Also the pencils can double as a wicked weapon. Nobody wants lead in their eye.

--Twizzlers: no explanation necessary.

--State Driver's License and one of those wicked headsets air controllers wear: I really like those headsets. The license, in case I forget my height because you never know when someone's going to ask you out of the blue how tall you are and maybe you can't remember because numbers aren't your thing. Makes a lot of sense now, doesn't it?

--Tube socks: for warmth and entertainment!

That about does it. I am a master of eradicating clutter. You may think my list a little weak but I am fairly confident I could survive with the above on my person day-in, day-out if I was homeless or forced into homelessness for all of three days. Maybe a couple hours of one day. Maybe an hour. Okay, maybe not at all.

As I conclude my meditation on clutter, I hope you've realized the error of your ways and feel grateful for all the crap you've accumulated and surround yourself with day-in, day-out. Awesome.