Thursday, August 31, 2006

You're on notice!


I had some fun with the InterWeb today as pictured. If you go here http://www.shipbrook.com/onnotice/ you can create your very own list of You're On Notice. The above reflect my elections. There should be no explanation necessary but just in case you're feeling a little fuzzy today:

YOU'RE ON NOTICE. BY SHINY PENNY.

1. Mandals. Really, men. Man-dal? No. Wrong. I reject your slender leather straps. There's only one man I know who can pull it off and he's related to me so the rest of you can just quit it right now.

2. Space Invaders. You know who you are. You stand too close. You've obviously never seen "Dirty Dancing" in which Patrick Swayze very carefully explains, "This is my space. This is your space." You are not as cute as Jennifer Grey so get the hell out of my space.

3. The Manatee Loose in NYC. See earlier blog "Have you seen me?"

4. Warren Buffet's Bride. The "man" got hitched today to his longtime companion. Warren love you long time. Now you married. Don't get comfortable, sweetheart; Warren gave all his dough to Bill Gates.

5. Stephen Colbert. He owns the list. He was robbed an Emmy by his friend Jon Stewart of the pretty hair. Keep the eyes open, Colby.

6. Martini Drinkers. Sorry, I know there are many of you who enjoy a stiff one. But, they just bug me.

7. Dell. For making me panic about my face exploding. There's no excuse for you.

8. Cock-a-doodle-doo. This should really be Chock-a-doodle-doo. For more than a week now, I've suffered from extreme bouts of tiredness with no ready explanation. I drink my obligatory cup of java at 5:30 a.m. Followed by another around 9:00 a.m. For some reason that 5:30 cup wasn't pulling its weight. And then the truth was revealed! It was mentioned to me that clever packaging had tricked me into thinking my Columbian Chock Full'O Nuts was caffeinated. It was not. It was decaffeinated. I will now lodge a formal complaint with the Nuts regarding their negligence and fraud. Since when did the color green signify "decaffeinated"? Damn Nuts!

That's it. What the hell are you looking down here for, greedy bastards. Leave me.

2 comments:

  1. You crack me up. Okay I'll start cleaning now, but first I have to check out this you're on notice website. B.t.w. martinis are girly drinks and you are a girl, you should be drinking them!!!! Decaf girl (tee hee)

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  2. Oh and as far as your roommate music snob is concerned. There is "some" good music out there that wasn't made by weather- and drug-beaten geniuses from decades or centuries ago.

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