Still not writing about the heat wave...

Or Mel Gibson's apology. Or Fidel's intestinal problems. Or anything else inflammatory.

I did, however, count 12 people in jeans on my three-block walk home from the subway. I'm still at a loss with you.

In other news, I think I've stumbled upon the perfect pair of spectacles for my unseeing eyes. I'm not going to tell you where I discovered these incredible goggles because knowing you, you'll go out and steal them right from under me. I understand -- everyone wants a piece of me. Well, I'm not telling you so don't even bother to send me all those sweet, imploring emails.

As you may know, I hate glasses. Not like Mel Gibson hates Jewish people, mind you, but I do hate glasses. And no, not the drinking kind. There's just something about that weight on my face that drives me beyond bonkers. Plus, the periperal vision gets all screwed up and there's the constant pushing up of the glasses and there always dirty and I just don't like them one bit. I like glasses on other people -- don't go reporting me to the anti-spectacles league.

This may not be exciting news to you. But hear me now, a seeing Shiny Penny is a boon to the world. A Shiny Penny in the dark or fog or murky shadows is no friend indeed. Keep all appendages crossed that I score my sweet specs sooner rather than later. We'll all be better for it.