all-seeing eye

April 13, 2006

a very interesting and eye-opening journey to the ophthamalogist. what started as a routine eye exam quickly transformed into my candidacy for lasik eye surgery. ask a question, be prepared for a 40-minute exposition on the cornea.

it's funny that all of the pictures of diplomas hanging in the eye doctor's office are crooked. i noticed this pre-dilation, pre-numbing of the eyes.

anyway, dr. denise gave me the full workup. i explained my perpetual dry eye syndrome. apparently it's "the computer." i was then warned to halt use of renew eye solution from this day forward due to some fda warning of eye fungus. super. she did give me a big sample of what i'm supposed to use so my $40 co-pay wasn't for naught.

my sight has stabilized, 20-30 in the left, 20-15 in the right. this, of course, is with the aid of contacts and glasses. not sure what my unencumbered sight is but i suspect not so good. seeing (oh the puns) as i've had glasses since i was 3 and by that age three major eye operations, and contacts since the fifth grade...i forgot where that was going. anyway, the good news is i don't need to fork over the big money for new contacts or for a new prescription for glasses that i hate wearing.

so i broached the laser eye surgery question. what followed were numerous tests in which i looked into large machines with spiral blue lights so they could take pictures of the topography of my cornea. cool. next up the second round of numbing drops (the first was to test the pressure in my eyes -- all good) to test the thickness of my cornea. finally the dominant eye test in which i firmly attested my left eye to be stronger and was summarily proved wrong. dr. isla bonita (i can't remember her real name but she had a real pretty accent and complimented me up the wazoo. what pretty hair you have! what pretty glasses! and such a long neck! okay, that last one was a little weird) explained my right eye to be the pilot, the left co-pilot. she then compared my eyes to mangoes. it sounds odd now but it was a beautiful analogy about how no two mangoes are the same shape so the lasik burns off the what-have-you to make them better fruits, or eyes, or whatever.

she explained it all clearly and quite beautifully. i could have fallen asleep to the sound of her voice. all this talk about how the brain sees and the eyes are just puppets. it was magical.

DILATION TIME. yowza. can't see. hello? please don't leave me in this holding space with all these magazines that i can't see or read and drop the giant lasik package on my lap. my eye doctor saw me next and read my chart and asked if i had any questions but i was tired by that point and forgot if i had any questions, other than what time is it and do you have any snacks?

i fumbled my way home, trying to look normal even though my pupils were the size of mangoes. i can't really see all that well now either but i'm hopeful for tomorrow.

it's strange really to imagine waking up to perfect vision. i have no idea what that feels or looks like. i'm not committing to the lasik, just intrigued. it's a boatload of money to spend on having your cornea peeled back, the oxygen bubbles released, and then lasers filing away the insides of your eye. what if i see all wrong afterwards? what if what i thought was beautiful looks muddy when it's crisp and clear. i'm so accustomed to the fog and blur and constant rewetting drops. much much to contemplate.

this was a fascinating entry for me. i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did squinting through the writing of it.

see ya!