funny bone

the bravo channel, best known for its "queer eye for the straight guy," "inside the actor's studio," and "project runway," along with some other boring crap, recently listed the 100 top funniest movies of all time. i take issue with its list, except with the number one spot as that was "animal house," which is clearly funny for myriad reasons. to be plain, i was not consulted for this list and that's mostly what i take issue with because if anyone is a barometer for funny, it's this anyone right here. i was born funny -- just ask my mother. actually, please don't bother my mother.

to rebut this "list" which is clearly prejudiced and an ill-reflection of funny, i propose the following films in no particular order:

1. "all of me" with the lily tomlin upper cut and the steve martin jab -- absolutely funny
2. "history of the world: part one" since there is no part two, this is clearly ridiculously funny
3. "shucker" a shameless plug and you should feel ashamed for never having seen this ludicrously funny but not-as-yet-made-but-awesomely-funny film

that's about all i'm going to offer those ingrates over at bravo. no bravos for you, bravo. take that! yeah, the truth stings doesn't it? maybe james lipton can rub some salve on your wounds. i doubt it though as he's quite busy composing his ridiculous questions such as "what will you say to god at heaven's gate" and "what's your favorite curse word?" or some crap like that. how uninspired and totally unfunny. i should be hosting that show. but i don't wanna because it's dumb and they don't let those students have at those famous actors like those students really wanna. they should plant me in the audience to ask those actors the provocative questions they never get asked. i'd tell you what those provocative questions are but you'd just end up stealing them because you're so unimaginative and unfunny.

sorry, you're just innocent bystanders. i shouldn't have flown off the handle like that on you, puppies.

i'll be funny tomorrow. i promise. if only to save you from what's dreary and hot and miserably unfunny in this all-too cruel world.