Bunching Kills

People should never bunch up close together, no matter who you're waiting to see. Bunching is wrong. People should never be herded like cattle into makeshift lines, a.k.a. death traps, no matter who you're waiting to hear read from his new book. People should never go to Macy's Herald Square because there are no windows above the first floor and what if you get way up on one of those high floors via those wooden escalators and you can't get out? What if? Macy's is akin to bunching, except not really but I could argue it so stop trying to pick a fight.


Dear Super Power Bookstore,

I was disappointed to learn that you promote bunching. Bunching is wrong. I may get Elliot Spitzer on the case because there should be a law outlawing bunching of people real close together, no matter who they're waiting to see. Chuck Schumer is also on my list of high-powered proactive politicians soon to be on the case. Maybe even Help Me Howard. I am not afraid to call in the big guns here. So the next time you organize one of your fancy readings, please instruct your employees that bunching is akin to gauging someone's eyes out with a real pointy fingernail.

Thanks for listening.

Best regards,
Bunching Kills