The wonderful world of me and mine

After observing several small people this holiday weekend who adamantly refused to share their super awesome toys, I've come to a great discovery. Every generation is in fact the ME generation. We're all pretty much selfish on a daily basis, whether we choose to recognize the inner brat or not.

But we're not to blame really. It's the advertisers. And the marketers. And the lions, and tigers, and bears. They feed our egos like hungry beasts. Their succulent meats satiate our seemingly insatiable appetites. Case in point: the personalized meat brander. What every grillboy/grillgirl needs. If you didn't put your initials in the countless burgers served up this holiday weekend, then hell, you're just about the lamest of the lame. Put them initials in that thar' processed meat patty.

Personally I think this is one of the most ingenius manipulations of the ego ever invented. How much better do you think a burger would taste with your initials in it? INFINITELY BETTER. Like the best hunka hunk of juicy cow flesh ever. I kid you not. I will be ordering the meat brander. I just wish you could squeeze in more than three letters. Imagine the possiblities of branding your grilled chicken, corn, salmon, hot dogs, etc. Kinda blows your mind, huh?

Everyone knows having your name on something makes you that much cooler. Remember back in the day when you could buy those mini license plates with your name on them? Or the key chains? Or those silly birthday astrology tags? Must have been nice for you: Melissa, Katie, Beth, Mark, Robert, George. My name was never on any of those trinkets. I suffered the cruel stares, the snickering behind my back. Luckily my mother indulged my thirst for personalization with purple belts with my name wrapped around, a mirror in the shape of my name in bubble script, even my initials on the door of my first car. How you like me now, Melissa, Katie, Beth, Mark, Robert, and George?

In sum, the next time you hear someone yell "MINE. MINE. MINE." don't judge because you're probably just as self-centered and egotistical, and we all know your mom still initials your underwear, just 'cause.