All Up in Your Unprofessional Business

If ever there was a PSA for the hazards of non-professional dancing, this would be it. I warn you some of the above video may assault one or all of your senses. Man up and watch it.

The tremendous Santigold invited 10 concertgoers on stage at her show this week to freak it up to “Creator.” Remember Kevin Bacon’s vision quest in “Footloose”? He fought the community board to restore the right to dance in that small town terrorized by John Lithgow. Yeah, Bacon could dance. (But what can’t Bacon do?)

Not everyone in the above video can work it out, which is why it makes sense that certain people should be banned from dancing as a matter of public safety. I’d happily take up that charge of issuing citations to non-professional dancers.

Dancers, we go hard. Unfortunately you don’t see much of the kid in the red t-shirt who tore it up in the most unprofessional of ways. There were air kicks and even a midair split if I recall correctly. As a fan of the dance in general, I commend him on his commitment. Obviously not the most talented at busting a move but bust he did with wild abandon.

You’ll also notice Santigold’s two awesome dancers in gold bolero jackets. There are no words for their freaktastic moves. I was thoroughly entertained.

Dancing has exploded in popularity lately, in case you live under a rock and hadn’t noticed. There’s the highly popular “Dancing with the Stars,” “So you think you can dance?” and probably some others that don’t warrant another character. I prefer the Italian version of “Dancing with the Stars” because the dancers love to yell at the judges and although I don’t know what they’re saying half the time, they’re very passionate about the dance and how they look and about just being Italian. All of which I support.

I feel the urge to dance welling up deep inside me. I’ve spoken of this before (see “Dance, Dance”). I might be having a Jennifer Beales moment soon; I hope for your sake you are in close proximity. In case you didn’t know, dancing is in my totally awesome lineage. Yeah, you don’t know me. But I keep these things from you to protect you from your small, sad, non-professional dancing existence.

Watch the above video again. Keep it in mind the next time you hear “Jesse’s Girl” or “Maneater” and feel the need to unleash your dance on the public at large. Remember “Footloose” too. What would Bacon do? If Bacon couldn’t dance, Bacon wouldn’t dance. You should take this nugget with you and apply to daily life.

You’re welcome.