One of these things is awesome.

Thing #1: Big Gay Ice Cream Truck

Thing #2: Air Sex World Championships


If I left it up to you decide. . . well that would just never happen.

I like ice cream. I am 100% pro-ice cream. I don’t eat enough of it.
Actually I hardly ever eat it but I support it nonetheless.

I also like trucks. Pick-up trucks, especially. I’ve only ever ridden
in one pick-up and that momentous occasion took place in Australia.
The driver’s name was D’Arry.



I can appreciate things that are big as well as things that are small. And we are pro-gay as an old-timey word and as a lifestyle.

Combine ice cream and truck and you have a mobile taste explosion. I
get the impression from the BGICT website that their truck is not a
pick-up but more like a van. A big gay ice cream van would seriously
upgrade the awesome quotient by 1000%.

My ice cream man as a child only had four fingers on one hand and
three on the other hand. I did not enjoy buying ice cream from him. He
also had a mustache. Points for the mustache.

On to item 2.

Air is good. Sex as well. Together, not so much. You should know by
now how I feel about competitions and championships so points there.
World domination is a definite plus. Yet this string of
independently-awesome words leaves me cold. I hate being cold.

You can visit the ASWC website and see some pictures of competitors.
I’d like to remind you of my earlier post on My Sexy 12-Step Program: Abridged, in particular How to Position Yourself in the Best Possible Sexual Position.

If there are mirrors in the room, make sure your partner cannot see how totally unsexy they look right now, especially when they make that face that they think is outrageously sexy but is really akin to ponies in white sweatpants playing Scrabble.

Yeah, remember that. Now imagine watching a stranger re-enact a scene from their totally unsexy lovemaking on a stage. I want to believe this would be entertaining. I know I'd feel sexually superior but then maybe a little sad for you. A lot sad for you.

How did this air competition become global? Can you picture the Japanese doing this? I can. They'd be awesome because they love competition and hate losing. I'd go to the ASWC if it took place in Japan or was Japanese only.

I think you can guess which side I'm leaning toward. Delicious gay ice cream or strangers sexing up a floor in the most unsexiest of ways. . .