The shower sessions, by request

My self-proclaimed "second-biggest fan" recently requested "more shower sessions" and "maybe even a photo." Normally I would balk at such requests, because that's what influential people do when they wield their power and frankly it's kind of fun for me to torture my self-proclaimed "second-biggest fan". Today not so. Today I will fulfill my self-proclaimed "second-biggest fan;s" wish for both "more shower sessions" and "maybe even a photo."

I submit this:

THE TITILATING STORY OF THE LOOFAH

From whence did you come hard sponge-like creature? How is it that you can magically transform under water into a soft sponge-like friend sloughing off my dead skin to reveal fresh, new, young skin? You. Unassuming. Stoic. Caretaker.

But you’ve been betrayed, dear sweet loofah, for I know from whence you issued. Prepare yourself for this shocking revelation, ripped right from the headlines inside my mind:

SQUASH DOES NOT EXACTLY DENY MOTHERING LOOFAH

You are not a sea creature. You are a fruit! A fruit! Can you believe the hypocrisy? A fruit! (Yes, puppies, squash is a fruit.)

Again, I did exhaustive research, on the Internet, and saw pictures, and as we all know the Internet never lies, so you can totally trust me when I tell you that our dear sweet friend loofah is in fact a fruit. I can't go into the sordid details of the loofah's birth and transformation because it's too painful and I do respect the loofah's privacy.

Now the Internet also instructed me on how to grow my own loofah. Apparently it’s a total snap. I am so determined to grow my own loofah that I can hardly concentrate. As my self-proclaimed “second-biggest fan” and my “first-biggest fan” both know I have a wicked green thumb. Evidence: the six-foot avocado tree (also a fruit) which thrives in my balmy, jungle-like abode. Granted, I did not plant avocado tree but I do water avocado tree and can therefore take full credit for its proud, tall and strong presence.

I hope you are as excited – and titilated – by the loofah's roots as I am. I’ll never look at my loofah the same way. I can’t hardly wait to jump in the shower tomorrow. If you’d like to educate yourself on the comings and goings of the loofah, I suggest you take a gander at any of the many sites that pop up when you ask.com "from whence did the loofah issue?"

This concludes my contemplation of the shower. See photo above for illustration.

Keeping it clean, your Shiny Penny.