The Japanese are really great.

I always suspected the Japanese to be really great. They invented sushi!

Recently I caught wind of two other really great inventions pioneered by those tireless Japanese. The first is depicted above.

The wait is over, puppies.

Meet the Jet Towel.

This white monster dries your hands -- assuming of course that you've washed them -- in five seconds flat. I know. It's hard to get your head around that. Al Gore would be so proud; no more paper towels, baby. All right! This is an invention I can totally get behind. In fact, I think I just did. You can watch an exciting flash segment about the Jet Towel here: http://www.mitsubishijettowel.com

In all honesty, I wasn't such a die-hard fan of all things Japanese. Hello Kitty and I had a falling out a while back. You have no idea what a taskmaster she is. And of course there's that whole comfort women blotch on Japanese history.

But I do love sushi. And the bowing. I'll admit it. I totally dig all the bowing. There are a whole gaggle of Japanese businessmen in my other top secret headquarters and sometimes I don't think the elevator gives them enough time to bow sufficiently when someone enters or exits. I should really talk to building security.

I would so incorporate bowing into my daily routine if I thought you could handle it. You should work on that.

I digress. Back to how great the Japanese are. Today a colleague revealed the motherload of secrets. You know how your cursor sometimes looks like an arrow? And that arrow just follows your command, bending this way and that? Well, you can thank the Japanese for that!

I know. My mind can hardly take this much in one sitting. It's a good thing I never sit. I'm morally opposed to sitting, by the way. I bet the Japanese are too. Do yourself a favor and watch how the Japanese have revolutionized computing. Go here now: http://www.1-click.jp/

You'll have to wait a second for the magic to download, then just move your cursor over the light grey circle. You may need to smoke a cigarette afterwards.

In conclusion, the Japanese have proven once again that when push comes to shove, they totally rock us all. I salute you, Japan.