Dr. House

The doctor is in my house.

It's been two days since the doctor arrived. I can proudly say I am now well. The doctor has some wicked power. The doctor's ministrations have made me all but new -- but better. Newly better. Better than new. Better new.

Since I bounded back so quickly, the doctor took to the streets for some spontaneous field work. The doctor's preliminary findings are not so shocking to a genius such as myself but I'm not so sure you are ready to handle the magnitude of the doctor's geniosity. (I totally just made that word up. I think I like it. You like it too.)

The doctor and I plan on performing several experiments over the course of the next two days. Things will be revealed. The truth will be known.

While Dr. House roams the streets researching, I thought it befitting I make a list.

HOUSE CALL LESSONS a list by Shiny Penny

-- The world is ending. It is 75 degrees in October.

-- House calls are generally awesome when announced in advance. Unexpected house calls can result in robbery.

-- Being well is super fun; being sick is also super fun but only if you are me.

-- Sofa City should be outlawed in all states. However, Sofa City is a generous gesture not to be underrated.

-- Slow down. WARNING: only slow down if you are not in, or near the vicinity of, Times Square.

-- Joe Torre is gone, baby, gone.

-- Your superhero headquarters always look dirtier when the doctor is in the house.

-- ZOMBIECON!

-- The doctor and I agree we hate Halloween. The very word contains "ween" as in "weenie." Surely this is a clue.

-- I will now introduce myself as a doctor. Doctors command respect. You can become an honorary doctor for doing absolutely nothing. Bill Cosby is a doctor. Bruce Lee should be a doctor. I deem him Dr. Bruce Lee from now on. You may also refer to me as Doctor Penny.

Contrary to my popular opinion, I've given you a Top 10. Consider this a boon to you. It will not happen again, that I can assure you.

Back to the lab!