#1. The vending machine skirt.
Not surprisingly a Japanese designer came up with this season’s must-have. "First I’m a skirt. Now I’m a head-to-toe vending machine." Did you just see that? This is what’s known in Japan as a “queer tool.” Its creation is actually in response to the miniscule crime rate in Japan. Rather than engage in an all-out throwdown, the Japanese prefer to blend or rather disappear. I think I can support that. Actually I’m not quite sure. Aren’t ninjas from Japan? And samurais? And sumo wrestlers? Hello, Pearl Harbor! This is not a passive people. Am I wrong? I need to go to Japan immediately. Let’s start a collection fund for me to hightail it over to Japan for this very important research. Thanks!
#2. Fundies.
Yeah, jury’s out here. I’m not so sure how fun these actually are. Practical? Negative. Maybe worth a 30-second chuckle? Definitely.
#3. Gold Sneakers.
Wow! Have all your dreams just come true or what? I know. I was so excited about these metallic slip-ons, only to discover the item is unavailable. I knew it! Someone bought up every last pair. Hoarders! I deserve these gold sneakers. I bet they’re in Japan. Even more reason for me to get over there pronto, tonto.
Start saving up, kids. Luckily Christmas is only a stone's throw away. I do not endorse wearing all three of the above-mentioned fashion-forward items at the same time. I fear for you. I really do.
You're welcome.
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