As Seen on TV

I was watching some teevee this morning when I happened upon the following infommercial:

HIP HOP ABS WITH SEAN T.

Let's be clear on a few things before I launch into an endorsement of aforementioned infommercial.

-- I love infommercials.

-- Infommercial actors should win awards. Robert DeNiro and Meryl Streep could learn a thing or two from these masters of craft.

-- No one is more ebullient or excited about the simplest things than the "real people" in infommercials.

-- Without infommercials, we may have never experienced the joys of Gintsu Knives, Ron Popeil's Pasta Maker and Rotisserie, OxyClean, TaeBo, The Gold Kit, etc.

-- Infommercials make life worth living.

Now that we're all on the same page. . . back to HIP HOP ABS. I think it's no small coincidence that I just mentioned how I wanted to go Jennifer Beales on someone and then I randomly click on HIP HOP ABS. The universe is always in my favor.

Sean T. the very cut instructor from HIP HOP ABS has a simple mantra:

Tilt. Tuck. Tighten.

Do you feel that? Sean T. will ask you this question repeatedly as he shows you how to dance your way to flat abs with such signature moves as the "Get Busy!" Not only are these moves going to make you sleek and sexy but the unspoken suggestion is that you will QUOTE score UNQUOTE with your new sleek and sexy body. And yes, you will also have a blast while burning off those love handles.

What more could you possibly want out of life?

As my abs are already rock hard, I don't have any need for HIP HOP ABS but I felt it my duty to share with those less favored by nature this totally awesome product. Your neighbors may not appreciate all your thumping around but just lift your shirt and said neighbors will be silenced by your six pack. That's how powerful the core is. How do you think the presidents of this country were elected? It wasn't their platforms but rather their rock hard abs. Try to prove me wrong.

In conclusion HIP HOP ABS will change your life. It changed Chris' life. He was 5'10" and 235 lbs with shoulder-length curly hair. Not anymore! Now Chris is a sleek and sexy 185 with the same shoulder-length curly hair and dark circles under his eyes. I suspect once you get HIP HOP ABS in your system, it's next to impossible to stop dancing. A small price to pay, no?

In conclusion to my conclusion, infommercials are really great. HIP HOP ABS will change your life. The rock-hard stomach is the secret to success and happiness. The TV is a magical box that I will continue to monitor, if only to help you help yourself. And you love me very much.