Emergency Broadcast

I thought I'd update you on the results of the Miss Teen USA Pageant, which I just googled seconds ago.

Miss Colorado won. Miss Jersey was first runner-up. Do I know how to pick them or what? Personally I think Miss Jersey was robbed. It probably has something to do with her being a redhead. (As I write this Rick James' "Superfreak" is playing on the radio. Coincidence?)

Miss Jersey could totally take Miss Colorado downtown to Chinatown. Miss Colorado wouldn't even know what figuratively hit her as she was taken downtown to Chinatown by Miss Jersey.

Needless to say, I am disappointed. I will be drafting a letter to the "judges" of Miss Teen USA, who included: Melissa Joan Hart, Joey Lawrence, some skater kid named Ryan who looked very uncomfortable, and some other people I didn't care about.

This concludes this emergency broadcast. Carry on.