Birth

There are worse things than celebrating your birthday. I submit the following:

WORSE THINGS THAN CELEBRATING YOUR BIRTHDAY a list by Shiny Penny

-- Giving birth.

-- Eating pickles.

-- Getting lost in Newark.

-- Being mauled by one of those black bears in Colorado looking for a light human snack.

-- Seeing anyone male in a speedo, nay a thong.

-- The word thong spoken aloud, with or without sound effects.

-- A day without horns.

-- A day without beards.

-- A day without me. (I'm channeling you. How awesome am I?)

-- Misunderstanding, miscommunication, misogyny, missing limbs.

This is the short list. I could go on and on. Birthdays are funny, not funny ha ha unless that's how you roll. Those of us at The Office of Me get weird about birthdays. Although normally the center of attention, we shy away from it on our actual birthday. I know everyone else is thanking their lucky stars that I was born. Of course you are! We appreciate your devotion. We will try not to get embarrassed by the outpouring of love. We are beginning to get confused by our self-referential "we." We are taking our leave now.

XOXO